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Showing posts with the label Honesty

How to Spot Liars (and Truth Tellers too!)

by Michael Corthell Let's start by saying that we are all liars by definition. If you tell me you have never lied once in your life, then you are a liar. Okay, we have that important point out of the way. You might be interested to know that more than 80 percent of all lies people tell go undetected. But does that surprise you? We all learn to lie early on. Think back to when you were very young, and it shouldn't surprise you that lying is such a common behavior. When asked about eating a piece of candy before a meal, most children are guaranteed punishment if they admit to it. Lying, they reason, gives them a much lower probability of being punished—that is, if they don't get caught. Lying is part of being human—it is a defense mechanism. ''The essence of lying is in deception, not in words.'' —John Ruskin So then, people tell lies all the time, that is a fact and many are very skilled at it depending on psychological makeup, as well

Veracity: Tell Me More

There is one reason for telling the truth -- it's the right thing to do, but for lying the reasons are infinite, with almost all the reasons self-serving -- that's why lying is a corrupt politician's go-to tactic. “Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else.” ― Theodore Roosevelt  

Integrity: Doing The Right Thing(even when no one is looking)

by Michael Corthell What is the right thing to do? That is a very difficult thing to know sometimes. But whatever that right way to go is, it should always be our own decision. You need to own it. Good people know that genuine, true, integrity is doing the right thing even if  no one is going to know that you did the right thing.  Looking good is not better than doing good. And bragging cheapens the goods. Be a leader who does the right thing regardless of popularity and which way the wind is blowing. “It’s not hard to do the right thing; in fact it’s easy. What’s hard is knowing what the right thing to do is. Once you know that, and believe it, doing the right thing is easy.” — Ben Kingsley in the ''The Confession.'' Doing the right thing involves decision. Sometimes, there is no good or ideal decision, we have to choose the better of two that are either painful, or seemingly wrong. A good person will not do the wrong thing just to be lik

Truth Telling

 But how do we practice good truth telling? How do we develop our capacity to speak our truth with kindness, with love, and with authenticity?  There are many things we can do to make this happen. Here are three of them: 1) Stop managing other people's feelings . It's arrogant, manipulative, and somewhat foolish to think that we have the ability to manage other people's emotions. Many of us use this as an excuse to not really speak our truth - we don't want to hurt people. We can be mindful of other people's feelings so we don't end up being intentionally mean and hurtful, but when we let go of taking care of their feeling in a euphemistic and condescending way, it frees us up to be have truly adult conversations. 2) Be real, not right - it's not a contest. This is a big deal when it comes to speaking the truth. When we focus on winning or being right at all costs, we no longer tap into our heart of hearts, the place where real truth comes from. When we