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How to Develop a Positive and Pleasing Personality

by Michael Corthell

''A drop of honey gathers more flies than a gallon of gall''
― Abraham Lincoln

To succeed you must get things done. You must inspire confidence. You must inspire people to act. One of the keys to doing so is how we interact with people. Common sense and basic logic will tell you that by being friendly we will create a spirit of cooperation.

People with a pleasing personality create a positive cooperative atmosphere just by being friendly and agreeable. Some of us are born that way, while others need to work at it a bit. But like most things, with some persistent effort, developing this kind of 'personality of success' can be had fairly quickly.

First do a quick assessment. Based on the traits below, do you have a Pleasing Personality? What traits do you already have? What traits will you need to work on?

Smile! Don’t underestimate the importance of a frequent and sincere smile in making your personality appealing to other or its effect on yourself. Some of us have to 'fake it, 'til we make it'. Keep trying!

Have Positive Mental Mindset. Always think, ''I can'' and ''I will''. This positive attitude will open doors and allow you to display your skills and ambitions. Present yourself with confidence.

Be courteous. Courtesy is nothing more than the habit of respecting other people’s feelings.

Be tactful. There is a right moment and a wrong moment. Tact is the habit of doing and saying the right thing at the right moment.

Watch your tone of voice. Speech is the method we use most often to express our personality. Controlling the tone of your voice so that it carries meaning beyond mere words is invaluable.

Watch your facial expressions. This goes together with your tone of voice and your smile. You can tell a great deal about what is going on in people's minds by the expressions on their faces. Be aware.

Be tolerant. It is imperative that we all be patient and fair toward those whose opinions, practices, and beliefs differ from yours. If you are not tolerant, work on this first. You will not achieve permanent success if you are not TOLERANT of others.

Be honest. Everyone resents people who use subterfuge instead of dealing frankly with associates.

Have a sense of humor. A well-developed sense of humor aids you in becoming flexible and adaptable to the varying circumstances of life. Humor allows you to relax and remain human in the midst of pressure and even chaos.

Have faith in the infinite intelligence (God). Faith is woven into every principle of the philosophy of achievement; faith is the essence of great achievement, no matter what its nature or purpose.

Be just. A sense of justice is not merely a tool for gaining material rewards. It enhances every relationship. It discourages greed and selfishness and gives you a much better understanding of your rights, privileges, and responsibilities.

Pay attention to your language, and use the right words. People who achieve success do it through careful and attentive effort. Your use of language must reflect this quality just as astutely as any marketing plan. Do not litter your speech with curses, or obscenities. Do not be vulgar.

Be enthusiastic when you speak. Enthusiasm is the core element of any speech. If you have sincerity and true confidence in your definite major purpose, you will be enthusiastic.

Be focused in the moment. You must be able to fix your interest for as long as the situation demands it. If you can't, the other aspects of an attractive personality will be useless. People notice inattention in a nanosecond. We can pay other people no greater compliment than to concentrate our attention on them. Listening is greater than speaking. Be versatile and engaged. No matter how much you know about your work, unless you can display a general interest in the world at large, no one is going to find you pleasing or attractive.

Like people (genuinely). Just as a dog or cat can sense the level of goodness in people. Human beings have the same skill. People recognize very quickly whether they are dealing with someone who likes other people. If you hate people in general sit down and think about why.

Be humble. Arrogance, vanity, and egotism are never found in someone with an attractive personality. Don’t mistake humility for timidity; true humility is a recognition that even the greatest people are in the same boat and each person is only a fragment of the whole. People strong in faith are always humble at heart.

Be a good sport. Practice sportsmanship. Win without boasting. Lose without crying or whining and you will be respected and trusted.

Have a firm handshake. It is a simple skill, but is an invaluable part of a first impression. Make your handshake firm and friendly, but not crushing. Always be direct and assertive in your greeting. People will then associate those qualities with your personality.

Develop charisma. This is personal magnetism. Be present, be confident, like people and listen to them. You can mirror the qualities that you find likable and attractive in others.


Who are You Really? The Puzzle of Personality

 by Brian Little

What makes you, you? Psychologists like to talk about our traits, or defined characteristics that make us who we are. But Brian Little is more interested in moments when we transcend those traits — sometimes because our culture demands it of us, and sometimes because we demand it of ourselves. Join Little as he dissects the surprising differences between introverts and extroverts and explains why your personality may be more malleable than you think.


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