How to Find Your Confidence

''Confidence is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life's challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly. Being confident requires a realistic sense of one’s capabilities and feeling secure in that knowledge.''

Michael Corthell

Feeling inferior is often the result of various contributing factors that intertwine to create a profound impact. The combined influence of verbal, physical, and emotional abuse, coupled with inherent predispositions, can lead to enduring psychological consequences. These experiences can inflict deep wounds upon an individual, distorting their thoughts and instilling a belief that they are unworthy compared to others.

Nevertheless, it is crucial to recognize that it is possible to halt and, indeed, reverse this pervasive sense of inferiority. By taking proactive steps and embracing personal growth, one can gradually regain self-worth and cultivate a positive self-perception.

To overcome this deeply ingrained feeling of inferiority, individuals can embark on a transformative journey that focuses on self-improvement and nurturing a positive self-perception. By undertaking deliberate actions and embracing personal growth, one can gradually regain a sense of self-worth. This process does not require aggression or hostility towards oneself or others but rather a compassionate and gentle approach.

Through self-reflection, individuals can identify the root causes of their feelings of inferiority and work towards addressing them. Building self-awareness and acknowledging one's strengths and achievements are essential steps in the journey towards self-acceptance. Engaging in activities that foster personal development, such as seeking therapy, practicing self-care, pursuing hobbies, and setting achievable goals, can contribute significantly to boosting self-confidence.

Additionally, surrounding oneself with a supportive and nurturing environment can play a vital role in overcoming feelings of inferiority. Seeking the company of positive and uplifting individuals who value and appreciate one's uniqueness can help reshape negative beliefs and foster a more optimistic outlook on life.

It is important to emphasize that reversing the sense of inferiority is a gradual process that requires patience, perseverance, and self-compassion. It involves replacing self-critical thoughts with self-affirming ones and challenging negative self-perceptions. By embracing personal growth in a non-aggressive manner, individuals can gradually reclaim their inherent worth and develop a healthier, more balanced sense of self.

''No human race is superior; no religious faith is inferior.

All collective judgments are wrong. Only racists make them.''

—Elie Wiesel

Confidence: Assertive vs Aggressive

It is important to bear in mind that a clear distinction exists between assertiveness and aggression.

Assertiveness arises from a place of self-assurance, where individuals are conscious of their abilities, talents, and possess self-confidence. It is rooted in having knowledge and self-reliance, enabling individuals to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs in a confident and respectful manner.

On the other hand, aggression stems from a place of compensating for perceived weaknesses and inferiority. It manifests as a defensive reaction, driven by the desire to protect oneself or maintain a sense of control. However, it is worth noting that engaging in acts of kindness and treating others with goodness can counteract such aggressive behavior, as well as many other negative behaviors.

By understanding this distinction and cultivating self-awareness, individuals can navigate interpersonal interactions more effectively. They can strive to embrace assertiveness as a means of healthy self-expression while refraining from resorting to aggression as a defensive mechanism. Ultimately, fostering positive and respectful communication with others can contribute to personal growth and the development of harmonious relationships.

Strategies

 To reverse the feeling of feeling inferior, first, understand that no other human being can make you feel inferior without your help and consent. That is a fact. Accept this fact and you are 80% there in overcoming your inferiority complex. Let's look at some strategies:

Look for hidden agendas. Most people who like intimidating others (bullies) do so to further their own agendas. Keeping another person in a weak, or inferior position helps strengthen this person’s sense of self-worth at your expense. Don't let them steal from you. Know and fully understand that the worth of all people is equal.

Recognize relational aggression. Relational aggression is social exclusion, spreading rumors or lies, the silent treatment, and threatening to end the friendship unless you do what the aggressor wants. If this happens within an organization, work or school—document every incident and report it.

Be very wary of criticism. There is good, constructive criticism. It is advice that helps you learn from someone else's experience. But unsolicited criticism that involves circumstances that you cannot control is aggressive and can be racist. This involves things such as a disability, sexual orientation, skin color, race, ethnic background. This verbal abuse can, and very often will emotionally scar a person and leave them with serious self-esteem issues. Demand respect.

Understand micro—aggression. This is a type of bullying that is very subtle and can be just a simple assumption made about you based on your race, class, gender, or another identifier. This is micro-aggression; assuming a person is foreign-born because she or he looks different from the dominant culture, assuming someone is dangerous based on his race, and making judgments about a person's intelligence based on her or his race or gender.

''I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample under foot.''

—Robert Green Ingersoll

As always the key is to have a positive mindset. Find social support and be around positive, supportive people. You will automatically build self-worth if the people around you are positive, happy people.

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The skill of self-confidence

by Dr. Ivan Joseph

As the Athletic Director and head coach of the Varsity Soccer team at Ryerson University, Dr. Joseph is often asked what skills he is searching for as a recruiter: is it speed? Strength? Agility? Dr. Joseph explores self-confidence and how it is not just the most important skill in athletics, but in our lives.